


Listening

by annabagnell



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, I am really sorry for the sads, I feeled all over the place, I had a feel, M/M, and then I wrote about it, hearing, hearing loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-26 13:14:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/650881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabagnell/pseuds/annabagnell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock's losing his hearing, and coming to terms with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Listening

I need to memorize it. 

The way his voice sounds. 

The way his laugh sounds, high and breathy when he's nervous and low and rough when he's just woken up. 

The little huffs of breath he makes when he's concentrating, or when he's angry with me. 

I need to always be able to remember how he says my name, "Sherlock," when he's exasperated, how it sounds different when he's tired or aroused. How he says the little things, "tea" or "sleep" or "eat something, please". Need to memorize the way his voice changes pitch when he's excited or when he means to make a point. 

Because one day I won't be able to hear it anymore. It's starting already, the gradual fade in my hearing, from a combination of bad genetics and loudly-played violin. I'm already missing little things, missing the tiny verbal cues he gives without even knowing he's giving them, and it pains me because he doesn't know. He won't notice for a few more years, probably, three or four before he'll start to realize that I'm not responding to some of the things he says, and it's not out of rudeness, it's because I just don't hear them. 

And then the look in his eyes, the raw pity, it will kill me more than the loss of my hearing. 

Because he'll know it's coming too, the day I won't hear anything my John says. 

So I'll memorize it now, so when I'm old and long deaf and John's words fall on unhearing ears, I'll remember what he sounded like when we were young and whole. 

How my John spoke, and how I heard.


End file.
